Lot’s of fabulous Sub Pop news comin’ at ya. Put on your readin’ shoes
and get in to this:
First off, we are ever so proud to announce that our beloved Shins have
shattered a Sub Pop sales record and had themselves the biggest first
week in Sub Pop history with their absolutely genius new album Chutes
Too Narrow! (All y’all WISH you worked at Sub Pop right now, we were all
treated to FANCYLUNCH that day by the big boss! Jed got smashed.)
Combine that news with the other massive titles we put out this year and
it’s pretty safe to say 2003 is the most profitable year at Sub Pop
since gr_nge! Hey Jonathan, this holiday party next week better be epic.
Dean and I want a beer in each hand at all times and unlimited access to
the finest pastries available. If you cannot meet these demands we’re
taking control of the boat we’re having the party on and running it
straight into the nearest iceberg.
The beard-off is getting straight-up gnarly over here. About a month and
a half ago Tony challenged all of us (male and female) to a beard
contest. To this date we still have Jeff, Dean, Tony, Chris, and Jesse
getting grizzlier by the day, bumming out girlfriends and wives more and
more by the minute. Who will be crowned the beard-champion?! Cast your
vote today! (It hurts me to say that I let you all down by losing my
beard in week 4 after a nearly fatal trimming accident. I had the
trimmer on the wrong setting and I hacked off a key piece of mustache,
and there’s no way in hell you’re gonna see a chin-strap on this
guy…so I shaved it all off.)
These things came out in the beginning of November, you should own them
Sub Pop “Video Network 1” DVD.
A classic hunk-a-burnin’-Sub-Pop-history-love. This is the “digital
video disc” (DVD) version of the infamous VHS release from 1991
featuring videos from all the hot acts of the day, like: Mudhoney,
Nirvana, Tad, Mark Lanegan, Afghan Whigs, Seaweed, Fluid, Walkabouts,
Beat Happening, Thee Headcoats, and the Dwarves.
Dust off your LOSER shirt, accept technology, and replace your extremely
worn-out VHS copy today! (Warning: this DVD contains extreme hair and
The perfect companion to the highly acclaimed Shut Up, You Fucking Baby!
double CD we released last year. This DVD features all the behind the
scenes mayhem from the US tour that brought you the comedy found on the
double disc. THIS IS NOT A CONCERTFILM.
Check out these rad Amazon.com customer comments we’ve racked up with
this bad boy:
“… This dvd sucks. It’s totally boring. There’s nothing funny on here.
It tries to be like Insomniac with Dave Attell, but comes nowhere close.
It’s sad. It shows just how much of a loser David Cross is when he’s not
on stage. He reminds me of myself!…”
“…Remember back when you were 13 and you thought masturbation was
wrong?! You know that feeling you got every time after you did it?! Well
that’s how you feel after you watch this video! Okay I’m done…”
“…It’s boring, incoherent, pointless, and reflects very badly on
David, as his part in the film mostly involves sneering at other people:
fans, club owners, passersby, even a contemptuous anecdote about the
girl who took his virginity. It’s a sour home movie that won’t leave you
feeling very good about its subject…”
If those comments don’t scream BUYTHIS, I have no fucking clue what
(There’re actually way more positive comments than negative ones on
Amazon, but they’re nowhere near as amusing.)
…hey pal, take it to the next level and get a Let America Laugh
t-shirt too, you’ll look awesome!:
All Night Radio “All Night Radio Fix” b/w “Flying Radio Bat Factory”
All Night Radio is Dave Scher and Jimi Hey from Beachwood Sparks. This
12" is a teaser from the upcoming full-length due out in February
complete with hand-screened sleeves by the band. This shit is the
FUCKIN’ JAM! Farmer Dave and Jimi have completely outdone themselves and
created one of the most uniquely beautiful psychedelic sounds I’ve heard
If All Night Radio is not one of your favorite bands in 2004, I’m losing
lots of bets. Don’t let me down here people.
No new releases in December or January, but check out all we have
planned so far for next year…
Full-lengths from: The Elected (which is Blake from Rilo Kiley and
friends), All Night Radio, Iron and Wine, Catheters, Helio Sequence, The
Baptist Generals, WOLFEYES, Frausdots (Brent from Beachwood Sparks),
David Cross, Arlo, and much much more.
I leave you with a big ’ol thanks to our Sub Pop friends and family for
making 2003 beyond all of our wildest dreams.
For those unaware of The Constantines, this Guelph, Ontario band formed
in1999 and by 2001 had landed a Juno Awards’ nomination for their
self-titled debut. Since then the band continues to trek back and forth
across the barren wasteland known as Canada. Sometimes hitching rides,
which we hope is much safer north of the border.
Check the tour diary for their current North American tour…
With your substitute teacher, Ms. Anna “I’ll hit you with this ruler” Woolverton
THISMONTH: Scooby soils the Mystery Machine.
Back to school. Three words that miraculously result in millions of stupid haircuts and ridiculous pants. Not to be repetitive, but please allow me to date myself (myself being a hot date and all) by saying that my back to school seventh grade jeans said “roller boogie” across the ass in rhinestone cursive letters. And that was back in the olden days of yore when one could find the cool Levi corduroys on the rack, unlike today when, to get them I have been known to trip 17 year old girls in the thrift shop, in addition to resorting to other seedy tactics like pointing “look over there,” grabbing them, and running. Anyway… enough about my jeans and my bedazzled booty.
The poster band and reigning trapper keeping band of September is, naturally LOVE AS LAUGHTER. Please keep legible notes people, as you will be tested later. September 4 is the big day, the street date for LAL’s new CD Sea to Shining Sea. So before I go all factual, here is Sam Jayne to elaborate.
I LOVETHESTREETDATE by SAM
OK – report? I have nothing to report… well kinda. Love As Laughter has a record coming out so Anna asked me to write something. We’ve had records come out before. This is the fourth “album”, “record”, “CD”? Whatever they call them. They call them releases. There is a “Street Date” which tells you when you can expect to see this release on “the street”. I love the street date. I love it when releases hit the street. On the street, that’s where releases SHOULD be! Out on the street, picking up tricks. That’s where you come in, trick. You are gonna think that release is so sexy, the LAL release in fishnets over there, you are gonna pick up that release and DRIVE IT HOME! You and Love As Laughter’s Sea to Shining Sea have a street date. Love, Sam
Incidentally, the British really pee themselves over L/A/L, and rightly so. NME had this to say.
“ Take cover, incendiary underground missionaries Love As Laughter are getting ready for an explosive deliverance from the bland and the apathetic. And with fanaticism like this, it looks like the salvation is only a matter of time.” (Besides, statistics have shown that you listening to L/A/L makes me happy, and when I am happy, the office gets ice cream. Do you want to tell them they can’t have ice cream? No, I thought not.)
Second on the hype list for September, THEMURDERCITYDEVILS, with their new EP Thelema, available on the 4th (CD-EP and 10” vinyl). This one is melodic, lyrically mature (say MA-TOOOOR), and it also rocks vigorously, just in case you’re wondering. By now you’re aware that the Devils have postponed their European tour due to Leslie’s wrist injury and the fact that everyone else in the band got the clap. (I’m lying about that last part…. But what is the clap anyway? I also don’t know what jiggers and rickets and scabies are either. It all sounds astonishingly contagious and infectious. Someone buy me a Gray’s Anatomy for Christmas, please. Thank you.) MCD is all scheduled to play the big Thrasher Skater of the Year party in San Francisco in the upcoming holiday season. If you’re so inclined to see hundreds of really foxy boys all under one roof, you should go. Girls love skaters. I mean what do they have there in those big short pants?
September 18 marks the sexy street date for VUE, Find Your Home. It’s the San Francisco band’s second full-length player, combining classic rock/R&B swagger with art-punk sensibility. It’s Fast man, fast like your daddy. Shouldn’t you be renewing your subscription to the Sub Pop Singles Club right now? At least you can finish reading my pathetic column first, you ingrate.
In the nature of gossip – THEREDHOUSEPAINTERS recently recorded a track for an up-coming Cameron Crowe film, and SAINT ETIENNE’S Sarah Cracknell will be getting a kitten for Christmas. Plus, RADIOBIRDMAN is making me want to remove all my clothes and paint myself with ketchup and mustard. Also, I went to Hollywood to see Radiohead and Cameron Diaz there and yes, she is shorter in real life, and there were so many cellphones in that town the inside of my head sounded like a fax machine.
On the subject of sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G (and know, this is not Megan Jasper’s story about lofty raccoon sex), Aaron Sperske of our own BEACHWOODSPARKS recently wed. Also owned by Sub Pop, esteemed prince of popular Mr. Tony Kiewel attended the nuptials along with the big boss man and the aforementioned Miss Stinky-J. Here’s Tony’s People Magazine-esque report:
The wedding was positively lovely. A Tibetan Buddhist affair. I’m sure the sentiments expressed by the lama during the course of the ceremony were lovely, I wouldn’t know for sure since my Tibetan is a little rusty. The bride was absolutely gorgeous in a traditional white gown while all of the guests looked on garbed completely in orange. Yup, orange dress-code for the guests. I was a little scared of the idea at first, but let me tell you, there is something to be said for a color-coded wingding. It was truly a site, all of us gathered together united by our love for the bride and groom and also our orange uniforms. If we had hardhats we could have been mistaken for a road crew. I don’t think I fully appreciated the wide range of oranges previous to this occasion. I wore a rather boring collared orange shirt I picked up for 10 bucks at the mall the day before. Other guests were far more creative. Beck definitely won for most sparkly interpretation with a fantastic orange cowboy suit covered in rhinestones. Thems the highlights… Tony.
So there it is. It sounds so nice! I love orange. Speaking of Tony, he and fellow Sub Pop river-dancer Chris Jacobs will join PLEASURE FOREVER’S Dave Clifford for a big giant, blow-out air-hockey showdown in September, that incidentally no one but they actually care about. They wear underpants on their heads and call themselves stuff like “Assassin” and “Tabletop Lord.” After the competition, I understand the group will then play Dungeons and Dragons together in the bathtub.
I love THESHINS, and Sept. 2 is the day you can catch them on 120 Minutes, featuring their new and very fancy video for the song “New Slang.” If you haven’t heard the full-player Oh, Inverted World, yet, may I suggest you do something about that? The reviews are in and the world is just freakin’ out about the Shins… freakin’ out in a new age daydream oh yeah. There I go again, dating myself. At least I know I’ll get lucky.
THISMONTH: Touring – ARLO, Beachwood Sparks (with the Black Crowes), BLACKHALOS, Pleasure Forever, The Shins, THECATHETERS (look for them soon in Rolling Stone), and ZENGUERRILLA. Please go to the tours page and plan your roadtrip. NEXTMONTH: New records from Beachwood Sparks and TREMBLINGBLUESTARS!