TUE, AUG 8, 2006 at 11:24 AM

TRAFFIC …duh……SUB POP: September 2001 edition

With your substitute teacher, Ms. Anna “I’ll hit you with this ruler” Woolverton

THIS MONTH: Scooby soils the Mystery Machine.

Back to school. Three words that miraculously result in millions of stupid haircuts and ridiculous pants. Not to be repetitive, but please allow me to date myself (myself being a hot date and all) by saying that my back to school seventh grade jeans said “roller boogie” across the ass in rhinestone cursive letters. And that was back in the olden days of yore when one could find the cool Levi corduroys on the rack, unlike today when, to get them I have been known to trip 17 year old girls in the thrift shop, in addition to resorting to other seedy tactics like pointing “look over there,” grabbing them, and running. Anyway… enough about my jeans and my bedazzled booty.

The poster band and reigning trapper keeping band of September is, naturally LOVE AS LAUGHTER. Please keep legible notes people, as you will be tested later. September 4 is the big day, the street date for LAL’s new CD Sea to Shining Sea. So before I go all factual, here is Sam Jayne to elaborate.

I LOVE THE STREET DATE by SAM

OK – report? I have nothing to report… well kinda. Love As Laughter has a record coming out so Anna asked me to write something. We’ve had records come out before. This is the fourth “album”, “record”, “CD”? Whatever they call them. They call them releases. There is a “Street Date” which tells you when you can expect to see this release on “the street”. I love the street date. I love it when releases hit the street. On the street, that’s where releases SHOULD be! Out on the street, picking up tricks. That’s where you come in, trick. You are gonna think that release is so sexy, the LAL release in fishnets over there, you are gonna pick up that release and DRIVE IT HOME! You and Love As Laughter’s Sea to Shining Sea have a street date. Love, Sam

Incidentally, the British really pee themselves over L/A/L, and rightly so. NME had this to say.
“ Take cover, incendiary underground missionaries Love As Laughter are getting ready for an explosive deliverance from the bland and the apathetic. And with fanaticism like this, it looks like the salvation is only a matter of time.” (Besides, statistics have shown that you listening to L/A/L makes me happy, and when I am happy, the office gets ice cream. Do you want to tell them they can’t have ice cream? No, I thought not.)

Second on the hype list for September, THE MURDER CITY DEVILS, with their new EP Thelema, available on the 4th (CD-EP and 10” vinyl). This one is melodic, lyrically mature (say MA-TOOOOR), and it also rocks vigorously, just in case you’re wondering. By now you’re aware that the Devils have postponed their European tour due to Leslie’s wrist injury and the fact that everyone else in the band got the clap. (I’m lying about that last part…. But what is the clap anyway? I also don’t know what jiggers and rickets and scabies are either. It all sounds astonishingly contagious and infectious. Someone buy me a Gray’s Anatomy for Christmas, please. Thank you.) MCD is all scheduled to play the big Thrasher Skater of the Year party in San Francisco in the upcoming holiday season. If you’re so inclined to see hundreds of really foxy boys all under one roof, you should go. Girls love skaters. I mean what do they have there in those big short pants?

September 18 marks the sexy street date for VUE, Find Your Home. It’s the San Francisco band’s second full-length player, combining classic rock/R&B swagger with art-punk sensibility. It’s Fast man, fast like your daddy. Shouldn’t you be renewing your subscription to the Sub Pop Singles Club right now? At least you can finish reading my pathetic column first, you ingrate.

In the nature of gossip – THE RED HOUSE PAINTERS recently recorded a track for an up-coming Cameron Crowe film, and SAINT ETIENNE’S Sarah Cracknell will be getting a kitten for Christmas. Plus, RADIO BIRDMAN is making me want to remove all my clothes and paint myself with ketchup and mustard. Also, I went to Hollywood to see Radiohead and Cameron Diaz there and yes, she is shorter in real life, and there were so many cellphones in that town the inside of my head sounded like a fax machine.

On the subject of sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G (and know, this is not Megan Jasper’s story about lofty raccoon sex), Aaron Sperske of our own BEACHWOOD SPARKS recently wed. Also owned by Sub Pop, esteemed prince of popular Mr. Tony Kiewel attended the nuptials along with the big boss man and the aforementioned Miss Stinky-J. Here’s Tony’s People Magazine-esque report:

The wedding was positively lovely. A Tibetan Buddhist affair. I’m sure the sentiments expressed by the lama during the course of the ceremony were lovely, I wouldn’t know for sure since my Tibetan is a little rusty. The bride was absolutely gorgeous in a traditional white gown while all of the guests looked on garbed completely in orange. Yup, orange dress-code for the guests. I was a little scared of the idea at first, but let me tell you, there is something to be said for a color-coded wingding. It was truly a site, all of us gathered together united by our love for the bride and groom and also our orange uniforms. If we had hardhats we could have been mistaken for a road crew. I don’t think I fully appreciated the wide range of oranges previous to this occasion. I wore a rather boring collared orange shirt I picked up for 10 bucks at the mall the day before. Other guests were far more creative. Beck definitely won for most sparkly interpretation with a fantastic orange cowboy suit covered in rhinestones. Thems the highlights… Tony.

So there it is. It sounds so nice! I love orange. Speaking of Tony, he and fellow Sub Pop river-dancer Chris Jacobs will join PLEASURE FOREVER’S Dave Clifford for a big giant, blow-out air-hockey showdown in September, that incidentally no one but they actually care about. They wear underpants on their heads and call themselves stuff like “Assassin” and “Tabletop Lord.” After the competition, I understand the group will then play Dungeons and Dragons together in the bathtub.

I love THE SHINS, and Sept. 2 is the day you can catch them on 120 Minutes, featuring their new and very fancy video for the song “New Slang.” If you haven’t heard the full-player Oh, Inverted World, yet, may I suggest you do something about that? The reviews are in and the world is just freakin’ out about the Shins… freakin’ out in a new age daydream oh yeah. There I go again, dating myself. At least I know I’ll get lucky.

THIS MONTH: Touring – ARLO, Beachwood Sparks (with the Black Crowes), BLACK HALOS, Pleasure Forever, The Shins, THE CATHETERS (look for them soon in Rolling Stone), and ZEN GUERRILLA. Please go to the tours page and plan your roadtrip.
NEXT MONTH: New records from Beachwood Sparks and TREMBLING BLUE STARS!

So long from me, losers. Annaw@subpop.com


Posted by Harry Dean Hudson