TUE, AUG 8, 2006 at 11:24 AM

December Sidewalktrots

You know… If I could save time in a bottle, if I could make wishes come true. Sorry, been watching some weird late night TV. I’m going on a mad search for my K-Tel records now, and I plan to find my worn out copy of Starflight ’79 and party. Yow! When I find my K-Tel records, there I will also find my old LOBO record and also The Best of Bread. The truth is, saving anything that comes in a bottle is a challenge for me, so there you have it. Vinyl is one of my favorite holiday gifts to receive. Sub Pop still makes records if you don’t mind me saying so. Meet Dean Whitmore:


PLEASE TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT YOU DO HERE: I’m the direct sales guy, I sell records to stores. I also like to say “Asscandy” alot.

HAVE YOU ANYTHING TO DECLARE? I have no fruit. My trousers are my own!

HAS ANYONE BESIDES YOU HAD POSSESSION OF YOUR BAGS SINCE YOU PACKED THEM? I deal with my own baggage man, I don’t wanna bring anybody down!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SUCCOTASH? Never met him. Poor fella’s been cursed with that name.


ORANGE JELLO WITH MARSHAMALLOWS? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ORANGE JELLO WITH MARSHMALLOWS. Hells yeah!! Gimme some!! You got some? Hells yeah!!!…oh sorry, yes I like orange jello with marshmellows.

ARE YOU WEARING ANY JINGLE BELLS ON YOUR PERSON? I should say not! I really should.

WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER ONE HOBBY, AND DO YOU SMOKE WHILE YOU’RE DOING IT? Hmmm… I collect records, I guess that’s a hobby. I just quit smoking but I didn’t enjoy my first couple of cigarrettes after record shopping for a long time because they tasted like dust & mold.

ARE BOTH YOUR THUMBS INTACT? Yes, I’m very careful with sharp objects.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Purty good. I went to Spaghetti Factory last night & it was delicious. I’m thinking today has to be a bit of a let down after that so I’m not expecting much of my day.

Mmmm. Spaghetti. See you next year right here on the 55 second Sub Pop sidewalk, meatball.