Dear visitors to SubPop.Com:

I’m writing to you with a heavy heart, as I must announce that this will be my final installment of the No Fly List blog. By the time you read this, I will be moving my life from Seattle, Washington, to New Orleans, Louisiana. Sometimes I think only a real idiot would leave behind a Corporate Associate position at Sub Pop Records, but the siren call of zydeco and drum buddies is too strong for me to resist. 

I’ve been humbled by the many accolades that the No Fly List has received under my stewardship, including “The Only Airport Record Store Blog,” “Most Punctual Monthly Column on SubPop.Com,” and “Best Display of Crass Marketing Disguised as Blogging.” However, as I move on from my Internet throne, the No Fly List will live on, and I am excited to see what other folks from the airport store do with this blog. So stay tuned and get your eyeballs ready for some #fresh #original #authentic #curated #airportstore #blog #content next month. 

I would like to use my last blog to air some final grievances and address all my personal vendettas list some of the things I will miss about working at the Sub Pop Airport store. 

-The way that ’Sub Pop’ rolls off the tongues of people who are saying it for the first time in their lives. Sometimes their inflection drags on the “B,” and then emphasizes the second vowel so much it turns into an onomatopoeia, making a noise like “subbbbb POP.” For others, it’s more of a questioning, high rising intonation (a.k.a., that thing? Where all your sentences? Sound like questions?) which sounds like “Sup? Pod?”

-The people who desperately want to refold a stack of shirts that they’ve messed up, but just end up making it look worse and harder to fix. I usually try to say something like “I’m a professional shirt folder, you can mess up all the shirts you want, please don’t feel obligated to refold them.” But they try to be helpful anyway, and I love them dearly for this. 

-The mystery person(s) that tried to steal our polaroid of (two members of) The 1975, and made us use a bunch of staples to keep it attached to the wall:

-The following people who were gracious enough to let me fumble my way around photographing them for our store’s polaroid wall: Elvis Costello, Nardwuar, Tom Scharpling, Jon Wurster, Jonathan Meiburg, and David Hinds. 

-The following people who I met but was not able to photograph at the store, for a litany of reasons, but all seemed very nice: Dan Boeckner, Jemaine Clement, Randy Johnson, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jason Schwartzman, Noel Gallagher, John Curley, and Eric Kretz.

-Adults who put on our child’s-size-only bucket hats. I usually don’t have the heart to burst their bubble, when I know they’re only trying to copy their favorite band’s look. 

-The man who saw our “Spanning the Globe for Profit” shirt, and with venom in his eyes, asked me if our company was like Wal-Mart or Halliburton. When I told him we are a medium-sized independent record label with a cheeky sense of humor, he countered with “Well, but do you make the world a better place?” and stormed off before I could launch into some of the things that have made me incredibly proud to work here. (Just kidding, I won’t miss that asshole at all.)

-Everyone who makes Sub Pop the best place to work. This includes my fellow coworkers, the many fans who continue to be psyched to see Sub Pop at the airport, the many more people who have no idea what the hell Sub Pop is (but are open and enthused to learn more about it), and if you’re reading this, YOU.