Having only previously worked with director Christin Turner on more aesthetically obscure videos, Dee Dee admits, “I couldn’t handle starring in such a straight forward, HD role — it was just too much me. I felt exposed and that made me uncomfortable.”
Against the urging of Macon, Sub Pop, and her management, Dee Dee made the call against releasing it and it was canned. (Future bass player Malia James eventually made the official video for the song.)
Fast forward to 2015 and a sync of the song on the acclaimed television series Orange Is The New Black. Soundtracking Natasha Lyonne’s character in a heartbreaking scene brought on an overwhelming response to the song, and this renewed interest found Dee Dee being asked, yet again, to release the initial video.
“I look like a kid in it,” Dee Dee comments. “I look as young and vulnerable as I actually was at that point in my life — it’s probably the most honest visual I’ve done to date, which is probably why I fought it,” she laughs. She reached out to Macon and he replied simply, “I’ve been waiting for this text for four years (see Stereogum video premiere July 21st)