As a fan of SUB POP ARTIST NAME, we recognize you to be a person of discerning taste. After all, SUB POP ARTIST NAME clearly stands head and shoulders above all other GENRE NAME artists performing today. Makes us feel sad for the rest, etc.
Because you have such excellent taste, we would like to let you know about our new and very exciting TWENTY’S PLENTY sale currently and totally happening right G-D now at WWW.SUBPOP.COM. During this sale, we are offering 20% OFF ALL PURCHASES OF $20 OR MORE! This is your chance to buy all kinds of junk from us, including whatever you might not already own by SUB POP ARTIST NAME, at a real, appreciable discount. Also: gifts! This is an excellent time to buy gifts from us!