TUE, AUG 8, 2006 at 11:24 AM


PROFILED: The Catheters

Brian Standeford – vocals, guitar

Derek Mason – guitar

Davey Brozowski – drums

Leo Gebhart – bass

ATTITUDE: The Catheters are oozing with youth market attitude and Noxema cuteness. They’re shifty too! The whole time they were here they all kept going outside and back inside and also they read all the Vogue magazines in the mag-caddy, even though they were talking about Rockpile Magazine.

APPEARANCE: They look dirty but are actually clean. For instance, Davey smelled like cologne. Also I think they had all brushed their teeth and possibly changed into clean dirty clothes.

STINKINESS: I only smelled Davey – he smelled like HUGO BOSS for men. The others only appeared stinky, but I think they also smelled reasonably fresh, all things considered.

P&QS: Very polite, in fact they said thank you for a cigarette, and no one gasped when they found out I was a teenager when they were getting born.

ENTOURAGE: So far, no hot ladies, but one of the interns here in the office seems to be doing some strategic scent-marking. It’s only a matter of time, really.

SPAZZINESS: It’s a new brand of young-punk spazziness. It’s less nihilistic than that of your average aging hipster because they are neither average nor aging. Those things come later. There were also no yo-yos or unicycles or any kind of floppy hat stuff in progress, which I really appreciate, lemme tell ya.

FINAL: I give them an A, because the Catheters are like a shiny light in my little lobby. God bless them, every one! Purely by coincidence, the band has a spectacular 7" single available Nov. 6 called “Build A Home,” and a full-length coming next spring, by which time they will be three times as cute.

-Anna Woolverton

Posted by Harry Dean Hudson