How about Sub Popics?

Popping Off

Popping off? Too sexy.

Top Of The Pops!

Goin’ Through Your Purse?

Going’ Through Your Purse is the clear winner so far but Chris can’t win because he works here. Think, people, think!

I Know! Right?

Is this some sort of weird attack?

no.

Let’s take this contest to the next level. If someone comes up with a good name I’ll have one of my coworkers show you their tits.

TGIF?

I am participating in my own contest now! I LOVE TITS!

Anagrams! Why didn’t I think of it sooner? This is an anagram for “pandering to the locals” and it’s almost perfect:

Placated Loser Nothing

It’s even got loser in it! Can you find a better one?

Perverted Landing. duh.
Or, seriously,
Pitter Pander – that way you get to keep Panda!

Shit-Talking to our friends…

Aural Sects

The former names for this column were a) The Traffic Report b) Sub Pop Sidewalk c)Thanks for Playing, and finally d) Pandering to the Locals. So, as you see, the title can be anything.

I really don’t want to give Chris a tshirt or show him anyone’s tits—he IS the boss, afterall—so let’s get some good ideas.

I don’t know if this is helpful, but I like cheese a lot.

Something For Nothing?

Gettinmyreadon?

Thank You, Drive Thru.

Takhomsomwax

or

buyolympia.com is chock fullov squeebs

How about The Players Club?

Setting the Records Straight?
or Center of the You Know First?
or What’s Updates?
or Continuousnooze?
or Actual Work?

Instant POPcorn?

snootypantsmcknowsbetterthanyouallhassomeglorifiednewsforya?

thestraightfactsaboutthisandthatanddamniwishthiskeyboardhadaspacebar?

No No No.

I’m Downloading Your Website!
Cheeseburger Holocaust
Musings

Monkey Steals the Peach

Cheeseburger Holocaust

Two Girls one Pop

How about “We Show Ours”
or “The junk in the box”

The Sound and the Furry

i told the opposition that its egg timer had run out.
they should turn it over to avoid anything out of the ordinary.
“sure,” they said.
but i knew it was just a matter of time before i had to tell them again.

You can always count on him for a good zinger! Cheeseburger Holocaust is now beating Going Through My Purse.

Sub Popular Wisdom

Conditional Affection.
Blather Control.
A Form Of Paying Attention.
I AM Doing My Job.
Dumper Diving.
This Is Not A Fugazi Blog.
Sexy Dads, Barren Wombs.
Repressed Hostility. (Actually, I’m saving that for my hardcore re-issues record label.)
We Only Wanted To Be Loved.
Still Nothing About Zumpano.

oh, and:
Never Returning Your Phone Call.

Last Ditch Effort

Crank it Up

Did I turn off the stove?

I AM Doing my Job is the best!

Matt Olsen does it again.

Catchy, referential, vaguely descriptive?
Check!
Check!
Check!

Failing that, how about naming it for another timeless Mudhoney classic, Run Shithead Run?

But, this winning is for the title of his comment, not any of the actual contents of the comment (though, those were all good, too). The new title of this column should, almost certainly, be:

The Tits in Question

Goin’ Through Your Purse

I still really like that one.

Also, Lacey, you should start adding a Mailbag section to the monthly column. I miss Mailbag.

You know, for some reason the quality of mail I receive at info@subpop.com has declined substantially over the years. Maybe we should make it more obvious on the new site or maybe no one cares anymore.

NOTICE TO ALL: If I get more/better mail I will publish your letters. If said letters are REALLY good maybe we can have a whole new all-the-time column!

ALSO: I have a new contest called Win This Robe and I will award said robe to the best letter I receive at info@subpop.com. You are playing for a red robe worn by Mark Arm and other much less famous Sub Pop staffers. I will personally sew a Sub Pop patch on said robe.

Sensual Outercourse.

I have got a better(the best)one.

“BACK AND FORTH FOREVER”

If you know what movie this is from then you know how awesome it is and how you absolutely must use it.

))<>((

Poop & Buttholes!
I liek that movie, too.

Heck, you could go practical and call it “Too Damn Lazy to Name This Column” or more nihilistic and call it NYFB (as in None of Your Effin’ Business), but since there’s an apparent fixation with a certain pleasing female anatomical feature, you should probably go simple; “It’s The Tits!!!”

Two Balls in the Corner Pocket; or
Hedonistic Impulses; or
Colonel Shittrap Makes Strange Noises in the Dark.

Sub Pop Goes the Weasel…

A Fresh, Bubbly Glass of Sub Pop

There’s a mailbag channel. Tho nothing’s been added since we relaunched the site.

Can someone PLEASE send me some good mail to info@subpop.com so I can put something in the New & Improved Mailbag?

Underwear Updates.

OR

The North-End of a South-Bound Cow… because even though we’re in the shit, we’re still looking up.

OR

T.I.T.S. (This Itinerary is Subterranean)

one love,

Dude, Where’s My Column?

How about “This one really messed me up” I know it’s kinda stupid but hey, who cares. I mean good stuff can mess you up, and bad stuff can mess you up. I’m just sayin’, I like the sound of it.

Matt Olsen is leading the competition with “A Form of Paying Attention”.
You have til Friday!

“Panda’s New Sub Version”

Yeah. That’s about right.

Or just “New Sub Version”

Or even “SubVersive Tendencies”

Getting The Wellies Wet.

Pardon the deluge…
(Note: that’s both an honest caveat and a title suggestion.)

A Winner is You [an old video game joke]

Coxcomb’s Last Laugh

Acronym Support Society

Penombre/Pixel

Let’s Do (It During) Lunch

Let Me Show You It

Dis(Trait/Chord)

Oboe Ab Ovo

Auxiliary Out

I Bought a Sub Pop T-shirt at a Recycle Shop in Nagoya, Japan

[Clever Portmanteau]

Noiseburst

Dignified Scramble

..er, OK, sorry, back to work.

Inconsequential muttering machine.
Rumour mill meltdown disaster-caster.
In case of bad news, break glass.

Throw the Looking Glass.
Forum For ’em.

Weld Me a Shelter
Portions from Tons
Holes in Your Socks

AND

Get Me Started

I forgot the exclamation mark:

Get Me Started!

THIS IS A REALLY GREAT NAME

PS- substitute any of these words with the word SWAINY cause that would also be swell