Meet the New Girl - L Swain
Welcome to the third-ish installment of “People Who Work Here” where I give you an in depth look inside the personal, private lives of Sub Pop employees. Today’s guest is our new receptionist Sasha. Sasha loves celebrity gossip, biking, sushi, and “bad boys”. (I totally made that last part up—I don’t really know what she likes because she hasn’t been here for very long, but that’s why interviews are good.) Let’s get to know more about Sasha:
L: What is your favorite kind of cupcake?
S: Mostly when I look at cupcakes, I want to puke because I ate so many when I worked at Cupcake Royale. I think I’m cupcaked out for a good decade or so, but when I have a random craving, I go for the lemon drop.
L: Was the cupcake job better than this one?
S: Well, I haven’t gotten a steam wand burn or frosting on my jeans (and that can look gross if you know what I mean) in three weeks! Also, no more creepy old men can hand me their Microsoft business cards. I would say, yes. This job is definitely a step up.
L: Who do you think will be your best ‘office friend’?
S: As of yet, I think Richard comes to my desk most often. Oh excuse me, Dick. But it’s hard to tell. I like that he’s from Scotland because so is my favorite band in the whole world, the Incredible String Band. If he’s anything like his fellow countrymen, he may become my B.O.F. [Never trust a Scotsman! -ed]
L: Do you think everyone’s as snobby as I did when I started here?
S: No one’s snobby! It’s just that you guys are “busy,” right?
L: Has anyone invited you out to lunch yet?
S: No, but I asked an intern to go to lunch with me (well, we know each other already), but she was too busy!! All in time…
L: Whose job would you ultimately like to take over?
S: Easy. Jonathan’s. Last night I had a dream that Kurt Cobain was in love with me, and he told me I should take over Sub Pop. Seriously! A few months ago I had a dream that Kurt was still alive. I saw him in a video store and couldn’t believe it, but he was there because that’s all he could do—watch movies—while he was hiding out.
L: What is your favorite band on the label?
S: I love love love the Dead Moon comp that was released last year, but I don’t think that counts. In college I knew every word to every Postal Service song, but recently I’ve been into the Handsome Furs.
L: Tell me about the best/weirdest phone call you’ve had since being the receptionist.
S: I’ve had the usual “let me tell you about my amazing band” calls, but the weirdest interaction would be when I accidentally buzzed up some guy from a random band looking to get signed. In a 5 minute period, he had complimented every item of my outfit, asked for my phone number, and highly offended me by saying my owl tattoo looked like the Tootsie Roll owl.
L: If you had to make out with someone of the opposite sex that works here who would it be?
S: To be safe, I’d say Dinky the office dog, but I feel like that’s too weird. So I guess I’m left with Andrew and Nick because they’re closer to my age. I have to rule out Andrew because he’s too tall and if I tried to make out with him, I’d only make it to his belly button. That leaves Nick—close in age and height (that’s all I look for in a man, by the way). But he’s technically Hardly Art, so that brings me back to Dinky, and by the way I have a boyfriend!